1001 funny ways to make friends
Rabu, 03 Desember 2014
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we must know what friends are. Now a lot of stuff comes in mind when you think about this. What are friends?
Well a friend is someone who will support you no matter what, someone you can trust and won't judge you. Someone who won't put you down or
hurt your feelings deliberately, someone who respects you and most of all someone who's company you enjoy.
Well now we are living at a time where finding good friends are hard because peopel actually only think about themselves so you know, you have to search for good friends.
This post may not be that helpful but I actually wrote it for entertainment purposes. DONOT try anything that is listed below. Have fun though
1001 WAYS TO MAKE FRIENDS
1) smile when you see him/her2) say 'hi' often
3) start your conversation with a good joke
4) don't act weird
5) do not smell them
6) do not beg him/her to be your friend
7) don't cry infront of him/her and say " pls be my friend "
8) don't be racist
9) do not spill water on them
10) don't say the 'F' word
11) don't scratch his/her nose with your feet
12) do not say 'I love you' when you first meet
13) do not punch him/her in the face with brass knuckles
14) do not kick him/her in the shin (as hard as you can)
15) do not spill hot coffee on him/her
16) do not say " if you become my friend, I will marry you"
17) do not hit them with a steel chair when they're asleep
18) don't set his/ her house on fire
19) don't steal his/her car
20) don't cough on them
21) don't spit on them
22) do not fart on his/her face
33) donot put open electric wires in his shower
34) don't mix his/her soup with your fingers
35) do not throw rocks at him/her
36) do not cut off his/her arms and ask them to play xbox with you
37) do not choke him/her to death and make pun jokes in his/her funeral
38) do not take him to china and push him off the Great Wall
39) do not stab him with a sword
40) don't hit her with a shovel
41) do not vomit on his sweater after eating mom's spaghetti
42) don't rob his/her house and call afterwards for the laptop password like Tyrone
43) do not interrupt while he's speaking
44) don't give him/her the silent treatment
44) don't hit him/her with a pie in the mall and ask him/her to be your friend
45) do not say "you are a weak pathetic loser who will never achieve anything in his/her life and will die alone but I will still be your friend to restore faith in humanity"
46) do not set him/ her on fire and say "I'll let you live only if..."
47) don't beat him with your gang
48) don't say "I like you" in a really really creepy way
49) don't say " if I was your friend! never let you go, keep you in my arms, you will never be alone.
50) don't use Swanton bomb when he's on the ground
51) wear clothes when you visit public places with the person you are trying to be friends with
52) do not show him/her the video of you assassinating a king
53) do not rap like lil wayne
54) don't slap him/her with your chappal (slipper)
55) don't act like bear grylls and drink your own pee
56) don't spray toxic on his/her face
57) don't give him/her a box of milk to drink and tell a funny joke
58) don't treat him/her like a dog
59) do not play golf on his/her backyard when he/she specifically told you not to
60) don't be a retard
61) don't go brucely on him/her and break his/her arm like brucely used to break sticks or whatever
62) don't laugh and be happy when he/she fails
63) don't be like sheldon cooper
64) don't try to capture him/her with your pokeball
65) don't harrassinate him/her
66) do not kidnap his parents and leave some clues including your phone number so that when he calls you and says that he'll find you and kill you and you say "be my friend, if not then Good luck"
67) don't act so cool that you're a superstar and he/she is below you
68) don't write a diss rap song on him and in the last verse tell him how nice he is and how he should be your friend.
69) don't arrange a plan with him/her and never show up.
70) don't be a jerk
71) don't say the N word
72) do not insult his/her family
73) don't hold his/her hand trust me it'll just look creepy
74) don't be creepy
75) dont say the g word
76) when you get invited to a birthdayparty, don't come in like a wrecking ball
77) don't take pictures and say you look hideous
78) don't sleep while listening to his/her accomplishment
79) don't buy a cheap gift and say this is expensive even though the tag clearly says "I'm so fuzzin cheap"
80) don't do the 79th one
81) listen to the 80th one
82) we got a lot to cover let's go
83) do not ask your pokemon to use flamethrower on him/her
84) don't blackmail him/her to be your friend
85) don't say that "if you become my friend it's gonna be 'Legen' wait for it
86) don't be a know it all jerk
87) don't say "hey loser, wanna be my friend"
88) don't put mentos in his/her coke
89) don't be a racist and say "hey homie, did you get 'nigga-lected' by your country?"
90) don't be a badass and say "nope, I just came here to become yo president bit*h so respect that"
91) don't be a racist or you'll end up in civil court and you won't make friends that easily
92) don't hug that much
93) do not slap his/her jaws off
94) don't go shopping for dairy products and ask if u got 'dary'
95) don't trash his/her birthday party by throwing a huge cake on his/her face and saying "surprise" and the cake says "be my friend"
96) don't copy him/her and say "Look at me I'm stupid"
97) do not put the kick me sign on his/her back
98) don't salsa infront of him/her for no reason
99) don't go chaiyan chaiyan chaiyan chaiyan. Cha cha. Chaiyan chaiyan chaiyan chaiyan
100) be nice
101) If you're an undercover cop don't bust them for not being your friend
102) don't bust them for smoking weed even if they weren't
103) Don't bust them for selling weed even if they didn't have any and you had (u dirty cop)
104) don't put weed in his pocket just to save your ass and bail him out only if he agrees to be your friend
105) do not use f5 like brock lesnar and ask to be your Paul Heyman
106) do not tell him that if he doesn't become your friend you will tie him on a chair and make him listen to justin bieber's baby ...
107) justin bieber's "baby" has hit billion views lol what about that. But seriously Don't do that, no one deserves a torture
108) do not ask him to be your "chamak challo"
109) do not make awkward eye contacts
110) when you're talking to him/her don't be blanky or look like a dead man
111) don't put too much pressure on him/her to be your friend
112) don't be like " okay wise guy I do not have any friends at this moment, most of them ran away and some of them dropped out so from this point forward you're my friend cuz if you're not then you'll end up in a stretcher, capiche? "
113) don't say the 'L' word
114) don't pay them to be your friend
115) don't make their lives miserable
116) make chai tea for them
117) don't spill chai tea on them
118) don't stab him/her with a squirrel, you'll get arrested.
119) don't spit your venomous spittle also never drool nor dribble cuz that's a choice don't be like that making friends are hard I know but leaving them would be your choice by heart
120) do not quit you can do it
121) try to impress them, maybe by juggling
122) don't try to juggle huge boulders
123) don't eat insects like Timon and Pumbaa
124) let bear grylls do those stuff
125) life's a bit cruel, but don't let them know that yours is too
126) I hope someone reads this cuz my hands hurt. Lol okay so..
127) don't say the 'b' word
128) don't punch him with brass knuckles with stainless steel coating made for extra hurt
129) don't stomp on him/her
130) don't throw his/her tv in the swimming pool and say that "if he/she doesn't become your friend, something else is going to get wet and go first time swimming"
131) don't chew food for him/her
132) chew food for them only if he/she doesn't have good sets of teeth or really need it or whatever
133) don't slap greet him/her
134) don't be a bully
135) don't throw an airplane on him/her if you get super powers like superman etc
136) don't be an ass
137) don't mind
138) be humorous
139) don't juggle the Titanic
140) sing nice songs to him/her
141) don't sing if your voice sounds like screeching
142) don't fight
143) don't act like a dog
144) don't be a dog
145) don't greet him/her by slapping on the face
146) don't be too complicated
147) try to help him/her improve his/her basic terminology
148) don't throw icy water on him/her when he/she is sleeping
149) don't give the lame excuse like "I challenged you to the ALS ice bucket and you didn't respond so I thought I should help you complete this challenge"
150) don't be a know it all jerk
151) don't be choppy
152) be well dressed
153) don't laugh when the teacher asks him/her a question
154) don't laugh when he/she gets fired and tell him "I told you, u'll get fired eventually. Now be my friend"
155) don't throw a shark at his/her swimming pool
156) dont push him/her in a quick sand
157) don't poke his/her eye with a knife
158) don't hit him/her with a bazooka
159) don't plant his/her house with land mines
160) don't nuke his/her house
161) don't do the 20th one
162) don't say "he/she was a loser before I came to his/her life" on national television
163) don't say the 'm' word
164) don't wreck his/her house and come in and sing "I came in like a wrecking ball"
165) you won't be able to make friends if you hate "people"
166) don't hate
167) don't break his ps3 and say "no worries bro, I'll give you mine" after that..
168) don't give him a ps2 in a ps3 box
169) don't hit his/her head with a baseball bat
170) don't tie him/her up on a chair in a dark room with a tv screen and say "I wanna play a game with you" wearing a clown mask
171) seriously don't do the 170th one
172) don't bet his/her everything on a poker game and loose on purpose
173) lol if you do the above one that'd be hilarious
174) but seriously don't do the 172th one
175) don't scratch your nose over his/her food
176) don't punch his stomach and say be my friend or you'll get an another one
177) be polite
178) don't draw his/her face and say "look a monkey"
179) dont say "i can see in the future and yours is blank but it's not going to be anymore if you be my friend"
180) when he/she is dead serious don't hit his/her face with a pie
181) stop being annoying
182) be truthful
183) be trustworthy
184) be gentle
185) be calm
186) don't hit him/her with a piledriver
187) don't tatoo his/her arm and write "best friends for ever" in a really really awful writing
188) don't ruin his/her career and say "it was for the best"
189) stop asking the internet how to make friends because they actually ruin you
190) sing songs maybe like ed sheeran
191) search on the internet 'how not to be like miley cyrus'
192) you could also search 'how to stop twerking' because that is the main reason you don't have any friends
193) be you
194) but in some cases being you never worked
195) be someone else
196) but only copy the good habits
197) take him/her for coffee
198) don't spill coffee on him/her
199) write a soft beautiful poem
200) be the best you, you could ever be
201) when he/she waves don't ignore to look cool
202) don't set his/her assets on fire
203) don't soak his/her clothes in dirty water and say "dirt kills dirt so your clothes will be dirt free" explaining the Louis Pasteur's Pasteurisation
204) don't say that "your friend sucks you should be friends with me"
205) don't say the 'q' word
206) don't be a cop cat
207) don't copy him/her it's annoying
208) don't be annoying
209) if he/she has sugar problem then don't give him/her sugar
210) don't kill em you need a friend
211) 'no friends no worries' this is the attitude you shouldn't follow
212) don't slam his/her head on a tv
213) don't choke him/her on purpose
214) save him/her if he/she is choking
215) try to be friendly
216) try to be formal
217) don't be a retard
218) ask him/her about his/her education
219) don't drug him/her to be your friend
220) don't send police to his/her house for invetigation
221) don't try to be Casper
222) don't say "call me maybe" trust me it's stupid
223) don't call him fruit loops
224) don't make him/her do ten thousand crunches on gun point
225) don't make him/her do a billion push ups on gun point
226) don't be abnoxious
227) don't be naive
228) try to look good in every situation
229) don't say the 'd' word
230) don't be a hypocrite
231) don't show lack of self belief
232) don't be a bully
233) don't hit him with a barb wire bat till he becomes your friend
234) don't harass him/her
235) be a star by not being a bully
236) be a hero
237) but don't be a super hero just a normal regular hero
238) I know what you're thinking
239) don't be superman
240) be honest about your feelings
241) be honest about your beliefs
242) don't say you believe in superman, he's just a comic book hero... Sheeh, do I have to tell u everything
243) talk in a really really calm tone
244) make the environment pleasant every time you show up
245) don't call him/her every second and make his/her life miserable
246) don't pinch him/her too hard
247) don't juggle big rocks or even boulders
248) don't juggle titanics
249) seriously you're not superman
250) don't put weed in his/her medicine ball
251) don't pick the world up and drop it on his/her fuzzin head like how lil wayne says
252) don't listen to lil wayne
253) once lil wayne left his phone in prison, started calling it 'cell phone'
254) lol I mean don't make stupid jokes
255) do not hesitate to ask him/her about his/her personal life
2566) don't get too personal
257) don't put prune juice in his/her pepsi or coke or whatever any black drink
258) don't imprison him/her
259) don't call the cops just because you're racist
260) don't be racist
261) say something sweet
262) make him/her a cup of soup
263) don't say the 'u' word
264) don't say 'jajaja' instead of 'hahaha'
265) when you meet the first time, don't say "I belong to a very superior and wealthy family and I can buy you to be my friend"
266) don't put him/her on a smoking habit
267) don't spill hot soup on him/her
268) don't throw up on him/her
269) don't sell his/her house on eBay
270) don't sell his/her parents on eBay
271) don't sell yourself on eBay
272) don't poke his/her eye with a shish kebab stick
273) don't flood his/her house
274) don't buy extremely expensive souvenir for his/her birthday with his/her credit card
275) do that with your enemy if you could get your hands on his/her credit card. Buy something expensive but stupid LOL
276) don't burn her just because she does cool magic trics and you think she's a witch
277) don't mock his/her work
278) don't mock his/her ambitions
279) don't show your old friend's head in a jar that you've been keeping
280) you can be funny and friendly and take selfies of you wearing makeup and ask "do I look pretty"?
281) don't do the above one if you're a male
282) seriously don't!
283) don't humiliate him/her
284) don't amputate him/her
285) don't put hard candy in his/her shower head
286) do it to your victim lol that'd be a laugh
287) don't bomb his/her stuff in mine craft... That's really irritating ..
289) dont talk in a bombastic tone
290) try to collaborate with him/her with your work
291) don't be cryptic
292) don't dye his/her hair without asking
293) don't put sticky things in his/her ear
294) don't say the 'p' word
295) don't break bottles over his/her head
296) do not say you care even if you don't
297) trust me it'll come around
298) don't play awful music in his/her house
299) don't burn tires in his/her neighbourhood
300) don't protest outside his/her house and say "I'll be sitting here till you become my friend"
301) if you become a manager of some place, don't cancel his/her membersh just because he/she is not your friend
302) don't hit his/her head with a golf club
303) do not involve him/her in a slap bet and lose... Leaving him/her getting slapped
304) don't stare at him/her awkwardly
305) stop being socially awkward
306) stop being socially awkward on purpose
307) don't throw his/her car keys in a fish tank filled with flesh eating piranhas
308) don't bend his/her new iphone
309) don't wear a suit in a pool party
310) don't do black magic on him/her and say "I did black magic on you"
311) don't be a racist and say the 'w' word
312) don't spy his/her house just so you could know what he/she likes
313) don't put big lights on his/her house and make a scene
314) don't put a billboard on the street saying "he/she is going to be my friend"
315) don't put baby powder in his/her blow dryer
316) dont food poison him/her
317) don't draw a map to his/her house and post it up online and write "here's my best friend's house" .. "He/she is going to be my best friend" "giggle giggle"
318) don't wear an alien costume and sneak in his/her house and say "citizen of the world. Be this guy's/girl's friend or be terminated"
319) don't cancel his cable subscription and hook him/her up with "the friend's channel" if that even exists
320) don't break his/her beats by dre headphones and buy him/her a fake beats by dre headphones
321) don't push him/her off an airplane just because you haven't seen sky diving
322) don't be harsh
323) don't break all of his/her bones
324) also don't break your bones
325) don't make a meme of him/her
326) don't bribe the judges of master chef to let your friend win.
327) seriously don't do the 326th one, that'd disqualify him/her
328) don't tell his/her parents his/her very very very important secret that he/she has told you
329) don't bring a real love man eating shark in a pool party
330) don't die yet. You still need a friend
331) do not give him an atomic wedgie
332) don't steal from his/her mom's purse
333) when you're thirsty, don't drink your own piss
334) don't be like bear grylls
335) don't hurt his/her feelings
336) don't throw a real live man eating shark in his/her swimming pool when he/she is swimming
337) if you ever hang out, don't bale him/her
338) don't live like a bully
339) always be honest
340) but when being honest don't be rudely honest
341) don't drop a pipe bomb on his/her head
342) don't do a five star frog splash over him/her when he/she is sleeping
343) don't be like Kanye West & go on stage and say "my friend over there deserves this trophy/award "
344) don't be like Kanye West and say "our principal doesn't care about black students"
345) don't be like Drake and throw someone off stage
346) don't start twerking like miley cyrus in an assembly
347) don't strip like Justin bieber in your school
348) don't make memes of your teachers that'll get you suspended
349) always text back him/her
350) be cool and confident
351) don't stick bubble gum in his/her hair
352) don't hate be fair
353) don't trap him/her in a cage with a bear
354) don't steer him/her to a wrong direction
355) don't say the 'k' word
356) don't be a giant turd
357) don't be a 'bhooka' friend
358) don't rip his/her one direction ticket which he/she took hours to get
359) don't invest all of his/her money to a douchey company
360) don't be jealous of his/her success that he/she attains
361) don't show middle finger to his family
362) don't delete his/her saved file in pokemon
363) that'd totally destroy him/her
364) don't put honey on his/her body
365) don't throw a bee hive in his/her room
366) don't mark an x in his/her home and tell everyone that he/she has gold under his/her house
367) don't do stupidly insane stunts over his/her roof
368) don't plant land mines in his/her backyard
369) don't be too daring
370) don't hit him/her with your mom's sandal
371) don't wet his/her mattress
372) don't play paintball on his house
373) don't diss his/her friends
374) don't bust him/her for no reason
375) don't be a maniac
376) don't call him/her chicken legs
377) if you buy dragon balls from a local store, don't think they are real and kill him/her and try to call shenron so you could bring him/her back
378) don't trick him/her to be your friend
379) dont make him/her feel frightened every time he/she is with you
380) don't tatoo his/her hands and write "best friends forever with 'your name'" while he/she is passed out
381) don't steal his/her goat
382) don't try wwe at home or at school
383) don't steal any of his/her animals
384) don't put a venomous snake inside his/her toilet seat
385) don't put raccoon in his/her attic
386) don't try to copy exactly what he/she does just because you want him/her to see things common in you
387) don't crush his/her dreams just so you could build yours and say "let's be friends"
388) leave the old stuff behind
389) give him/her cool gifts
390) you could also give him/her a T-shirt
391) if you make a custom T-Shirt, don't write stupid lines like "he/she is my cuchiii cuhiiii new friend"
392) never do it if that person is a male
393) don't break his/her heart every time you meet
394) don't always point out flaws in everything he/she does
395) don't make a fuss
396) don't say shut up every time he/she is about to say something
397) give him/her lots of love
398) don't laugh out loud when he/she chokes on a bus
399) when he/she tells you something important don't say "I don't give a buck"
400) don't be a jerk
401) don't kidnap his/her daughter and say good luck
402) don't say the 'd' word
403) don't lie to his/her face even though he/she clearly knows that you're lying and you also know that he/she knows that you're lying.
404) don't steal his girl and expect him to still be your friend
405) don't make him/her wear a goat costume on Bakra eid and take him/her to a slaughter house
406) don't make him/her live the Bakra life
407) don't tap on his/her door all night and run away like they don't know it's you even if they do.
408) but if they catch you, don't scream "thug life"
409) don't follow him/her everywhere
410) don't stare at him/her while you're following
411) don't make a mess while he/she is cleaning
412) do not spit on his/her face
413) do not repeat everything he/she says as a question
414) don't light road flares around his/her birthday cake
415) don't ask his/her gender
417) do not chew on pens that you've just borrowed from him/her
416) don't Invite people to his/her party
418) do not Wash nor scrub the trees in his/her lawn.
419) don't spread fertilisers on his/her lawn
420) don't lick his/her cat
421) don't bark at his/her dog
422) don't even bark at your own dog
423) do not staple his/her papers in the middle of the page
424) do not put a chicken in his/her bag pack
425) don't say weird stuff like Pitbull
426) listen to his/her problems
427) while listening to his/her problems, don't act as if you are happy that they have them
428) don't be a jealous friend
429) don't spend all of his/her money
430) do not blame him/her for ruining your life
431) don't flip out in his/her house
432) if he/she trips, don't ask if he/she had fun falling
433) help him/her getup if he/she falls
434) don't yell random numbers when he/she is counting
435) do not wet his/her carpet
436) don't try new wrestling stunts at his/her house
437) don't try to be the toiletnator
438) don't steal his/her horse
439) don't act dumb
440) don't show him/her 2012 the movie
441) scream "go Nawaz go"
442) don't boo him/her when he/she comes on stage
443) don't say the 'a' word
444) choose your friends carefully and properly because you are who you hangout with
445) don't throw paintballs at the cops when he/she is driving
446) do not hack in his/her facebook account and write "he/she is my best friend forever!!!" With hearts, smileys and other stuff
447) don't put chicken bouillon in his/her shower
448) don't be flaky
449) if he/she is sick then make him/her soup
450) don't spill soup on him/her
451) I don't even know if anyone is even reading these lol
452) don't photoshop yourself with him/her
453) be emotionally supportive
454) don't kick him/her in the stomach just because you had a bad day
455) don't say something mean about his friend behind his back
456) don't blog about his/her personal life
457) don't be naive
458) bake a cake and don't throw it on his/her face
459) sing to him/her
460) don't diss him/her or anyone of his/her friends or relatives in your song
461) don't try to be an over smart jerk
462) don't pee in his/her bed
463) don't steal his girl
464) don't steal her guy
465) share your coke with him/her
466) be nice
467) don't throw a bucket filled with icy cold water on him/her when he/she is sleeping and when he/she wakes up, you say that "I challenged you to the ALS ice bucket thingy and you didn't reply so..."
468) don't make a bet on him/her
469) don't steal his/her brand logo and everything
470) don't wet your pants
471) when in a pillow fight, don't put a hammer inside your pillow
472) don't try to rhyme things with orange
473) don't punch him/her in his/her fuzzin face
474) make him/her feel appreciated
475) help him/her around the house
476) make him/her a nice meal
477) don't burn his house
478) check in with him/her
479) don't donate him/her your dirty clothes
480) don't shout at him/her
481) don't take pictures of him/her just so you could blackmail him/her to be your friend
482) things don't go that way
483) play games with him/her
484) not the saw game
485) don't shoot cannons on his/her house
486) don't make a roller coaster in his/her backyard like Phineas and Ferb
487) if you still haven't made friends yet, don't break bad like Walter White
488) invite him/her to lunch or dinner
489) don't say the "t" word
490) don't call him/her a nerd
491) don't make him/her regret meeting you
492) greet him/her
493) treat him/her nicely
494) don't put a price tag on your friends
495) don't split them over brands
496) play multiplayer with them like clash of clans
497) don't just stand there tell them you like his/her band
498) tell people he/she is your friend not your fan
499) when he/she is dancing don't throw money at him/her
500) that will just look awkward trust me
501) oh wow! We've just crossed 500 yay!
502) 500 more lets go
503) share your things with him/her
504) help him/her with his/her chores
505) lend him/her money
506) if you borrow money form him/her, give it back to him/her on time
507) don't blast things out of his/her window with your bazooka
508) don't rate him/her
509) act as you are happy to be his/her friend
510) don't throw his/her stuff out just because you don't like his/her stuff
511) be more like Sponge Bob and Patrick
512) also like Ted and Barney
513) and also like Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable
514) you can also be like Batman and Robin
515) or eminem and dr dre
516) Goku and krillin
517) don't be like 50 Cent and The game
518) or John Cena and Brock Lesnar
519) or Vegeta or Nappa
520) don't hit your friend with a destructo Disk
521) don't try to be a bigger man or woman or whatever
522) don't try to be big
523) don't be too much of a pushover
524) don't stab him/her with a chocolate bar
525) don't argue over Pluto being a planet or not
526) don't argue over batman and superman
527) don't argue over Dragon Ball z and Naruto
528) don't argue over superman and goku
529) don't argue over earth or mars
530) don't argue over Pakistan and India
531) well I don't know but you could argue over Israel and Palestine
532) don't argue over China and Japan
533) don't argue over japan and Korea
534) don't argue over china and Korea
535) don't argue over any country idk just don't
536) don't lick his/her feet especially if it's dirty
537) do not torture him/her to be your friend
538) don't trap him/her in your basement and let your ghost possess him/her and ask that ghost friend to be your friend
539) don't do friendly fire on him/her just cuz he/she ain't your friend
540) try to calm his/her fears by smiling
541) don't make him/her fear you
542) if you do a BBQ invite him/her
543) don't BBQ one of his/her family members
544) have him for dinner
545) but don't have him for dinner. you know
546) don't say the 'm' word
547) don't shoot his/her bird
548) invite him/her to your hood
549) do good with him/her
550) give him/her gifts
551) don't give him/her the gift of pain
552) don't try to train his/her dragon
553) don't rap like Nicki Minaj
554) don't tell the teacher if he/she takes a peek at your paper and say afterwards that "I did that for your own good"
555) don't be absent minded
556) don't be like the 1960's spiderman
557) don't straighten his/her beautiful curly hair
558) don't drag him/her to battles that you can't handle
559) give him/her a genuine complement
560) make her blush with a smile
561) be kind hearted
562) don't gnaw
563) if he/she hasn't still become your friend, don't do hunger strike because sadly it's one of the worst ways to die
564) don't go volcano watching with him/her while a volcano eruption is in place and you're on the edge
565) if you make a movie, don't kill him/her off on the first take
566) if you time travel, don't ruin his/her time line
567) don't party in his/her house without even telling
568) don't be sombre
569) don't open his mint condition boxed action figure and play with it
570) if you've opened his mint condition boxed action figure, at least don't break it
571) that'd break his heart
572) and also your friendship
573) be strong in emotion
574) don't shoot him/her
575) don't throw tomatoes at him/her
576) don't clap at everything he/she says
577) make him/her feel beautiful but not in a really really creepy way
578) don't do a prank on him/her that'd ruin his/her life
579) do high fives
580) don't flop
581) if you get to the finals with him/her, don't get sold out
582) don't provide wrong information to him/her
583) don't bring him/her things he/she is allergic to
584) don't sell his/her house on eBay
585) don't sell him/her on eBay
586) don't punish him/her for things he/she hasn't done
587) don't say the 'Z' word
588) don't be useless
589) know what you are doing
590) this is a golden rule "Be Yourself"
591) respect him/her
592) respect his/her family and elders
593) even if he/she talks bad about his/her family, you should still respect his/her family because chances are, he/she is testing you
594) travel the world with his/her credit card
595) play games with him/her
596) don't play mind games with him/her
597) don't play games with his/her heaaarrrrt
598) write thankyou letters to him/her
599) send him/her gifts
600) don't send a Python in the gift box unless he/she is an Indian
601) don't treat him/her as if he/she is a savage beast
602) don't call him/her meat
603) be neat
604) offer him/her your seat
605) don't put thumb pins in your seat
606) don't beat him just cuz he's not your friend yet
607) don't puke on his/her table
608) don't wear his only shoes and destroy it
609) don't deploy troops on his/her house
610) be a part of his/her group by being nice and stuff
611) all you need is guts
612) don't call him/her nuts
613) don't do the 101 one
614) put faith in humanity and yourself aswell
615) don't spill syrup on him/her
616) don't stick bubble gum in his/her hair
617) don't make him/her feel that you're stupid
618) write meaningful poems for him/her
619) don't write rhymes like lil Wayne
620) don't be like Bane
621) don't dangerously split lanes when you're with him/her on a bike
622) don't put him inside an invisible box
623) save an old man
624) don't destroy his/her invisible painting
625) invest millions in the invisible painting
626) if you still haven't made any friends, go to a bar and talk to new people
627) don't drink in the bar
628) I'm talkin about ice cream bar yo!
629) push him/her up
630) help him/her financially
631) don't challenge his/her IQ
632) don't bend his/her iphone 6 plus
633) don't drive over him
634) don't drive in his frontward
635) do not lie
636) make him/her quit smoking
637) save a life
638) help a victim and make him/her your friend
639) do not ask too many questions
640) don't say the 's' word
641) work
642) don't always ask for money whenever you meet
643) buy him/her ice cream
644) be a dream team
645) don't argue over apple and Samsung
646) or Apple and windows
647) don't argue at all
648) take him/her to a ball
649) support his/her cause
650) when you say lol, don't say lolz
651) take him/her to a mall
652) don't take him/her to jail
653) if he/she gets in jail or prison, don't just stand there, bail him/her from jail
654) don't laugh when he/she fails
655) don't be late for her play like Peter Parker
656) don't lose him/her
657) don't slap him/her (as hard as you can) for no reason
658) don't make him drink his own blood
659) don't put crabs in his pants
660) don't put squirrels in her pants
661) don't pull the trigger on him/her
662) don't be a freak unless the other one is also a freak
663) don't shatter his/her dreams
664) don't put crackers under his/her bed
665) don't sing the song "red"
666) congratulate him/her when he she accomplishes something
667) don't kick him/her out of the band that he/she made
668) don't eat his/her dog's snacks like Shaggy
669) gift him/her a pokemon
670) don't eat his/her cat
671) don't call her fat
672) don't break his bat
673) when you invite him/her to tea, don't be like the mad hatter
674) don't be too superstitious
675) don't be ambigious
676) give him/her tips
677) take him/her to the thrift shop
678) don't say the 'j' word
679) don't burn his/her house just so you could see his/her reaction
680) don't call him/her late at night just because you can't sleep
681) don't do the 649th one
682) think outside the box
683) don't trap him/her in a box
684) build a tree house with him/her
685) don't kick him/her out of that tree house
686) don't make him/her your slave
687) make him/her feel comfortable
688) if you break his/her XBox, don't make your own xbox with a play station 2 and give it to him/her
689) wow we're almost done I guess but there is still a lot more to cover. Let's go!
690) give healthy advice to him/her
691) be creative
692) don't stare at him/her with total contempt
693) don't make fun of his/her relatives
694) if you two go one on one in a wrestling match, don't use an illegal move, chances are he/she won't be your friend anymore
695) don't give him/her fake one direction ticket
696) don't pretend to be a cat
697) don't put chicken masala over his body
698) don't bite him/her
699) don't throw his stuff from a building
700) be neat and keen
701) don't fake your death and scare him/her at night
702) don't give him/her flesh eating beetles as a gift
703) if you find a magic lamp, don't wish the genie to make someone your friend. (The genie might get jealous
704) don't give him/her too much sugary stuff if he/she is lactose
705) don't ignore him/her
706) don't push him/her in a volcano
707) don't try his/her patience
708) don't scream "I love you friend"
709) don't hit him/her with a beam
710) be a dream team
711) be friends like team rocket
712) don't be friends like team steam
713) don't be a mediocre friend
714) friends end with 'end' but make him/her feel you are forever
715) don't crush his/her heart
716) don't say the 'v' word
717) if you become a judge, don't call him/her guilty just cuz he/she didn't become your friend
718) try to be a good friend by staying in the friend zone
719) don't call him/her زحف
720) زحف means creep
721) don't call him her a creep
722) go with him/her on a drive
723) don't push the eject button in the car
724) don't drink and drive because you need a friend and you won't have a friend if you know..
725) never drink and drive
726) never drink
727) prevent him/her from drinking
728) gift him/her a cow
729) visit his/her village
730) don't burn his/her village
731) don't be like MR Burns in the Simpsons
732) it is your mission to make a friend
733) it's not impossible
734) one of the other main rule is to "Believe in your self"
734) don't do the bunny hop splash on him/her
735) be funny as hell, you'll get tons of friends
736) put money one him/her
737) invest money in his/her business
738) don't say I don't believe in investing and invest in his/her enemy's business cuz it gives a better share
739) don't make a bottomless hole in the ground and push your friend in it (for scientific reasons)
740) be talented
741) spit faster then Busta rhymes
741) buy his/her favourite music from iTunes
742) don't leave him/her alone in public
743) don't trick him/her to be your friend
744) don't say the 'I' word
745) let him/her win in words with friends
746) that's what friends do
747) if you two are involved in a tag team match, don't leave him/her
748) don't brag about a thing continusly for an year
749) give him/her something sweet like brownies filled with Hershey's syrup and cream
750) dont give that to him/her if he/she is lactose
751) Shake hands when you meet
752) greet him/her every time u meet
753) don't water bend on him/her
754) don't fire bend on him/her
755) don't earth bend on him/her
756) don't air bend on him/her
757) as a matter of fact' don't go all avatar on him/her
758) if you two fight, don't block his/her chi
759) give health tips
760) tell good stories
761) tell good jokes
762) don't do dirty jokes
763) if your friend is a bender, don't be an equalist
764) don't always be in suspicion with your friend
765) sometimes you need to believe in him/her
766) take him/her to dinner
767) if you take him/her to dinner and if he/she thinks it's a date, push him/her back to the friendzone.
You need friends don't you?
768) fighting occasionally helps in building a healthy friendship
769) star ships are meant to fly
770) don't say they aren't
771) have a good time
772) keep smiling
773) plan a cool party for him/her
774) do his/her dishes
775) don't break the dishes
776) don't break the dishes over his/her head
777) be fruitful
778) don't pay him/her to be your friend
779) make friends and don't forget their name everytime
780) wish him/her good luck in exams
781) wish him/her good luck in an interview
782) whatever you say, keep it real
783) do not disrespect
784) if you two play eye spy and he/she is winning, don't poke her eye so that he/she can't see
785) don't be insane
786) don't say "I'll forget you when I'll get famous"
787) don't forget him/her when you get famous
788) don't be dull
789) give him/her things for free
790) don't say the 'r' word
791) invite him/her if you build a fort
792) don't leak his/her boat
793) take notes
794) look what he/she likes
795) find stuff in common
796) don't panic if he/she blocks you on facebook
797) don't make new facebook accounts and send him/her friend requests
798) don't be a mess
799) have a life
800) don't make her your wife. We're just making friends here
801) gift him/her something nice like a knife
802) no wait, don't gift a knife
803) especially when he/she is not in a proper state of mind
804) he/she could even end his/her life
805) never gift a knife
806) don't say I'm coming to your house in just a minute and never show up and when he/she asks don't say "last minute plan change"
807) don't prank him/her that bad that he/she would never want to see your face again
808) don't call him a weak shit
809) don't bite him/her if he/she is weak
810) be decent
811) be athletic (idk just be)
812) buy him/her a new phone
813) don't give him/her a bent iphone
814) have fun with him/her
815) have good habits
816) if he's white, don't call him bunny rabbit
817) complimenting is the key
818) be reliable
819) be there for him/her
820) don't throw him off the bridge (for no reason)
821) don't be Patrick
822) no actually, be like Patrick
823) write a sweet and friendly song for him/her
824) don't write a dissing rap
825) don't throw water at him/her when he/she is taking a nap
826) encourage him/her to lose his/her weight by running some laps
827) while on a subway, remind him/her to mind the gap
828) when boxing, don't jab
829) search a friend
830) you'll find a friend
831) create a trend, you'll get tons of friends
832) pay your rents
833) make him/her a brew
834) be your own guru
835) search for a friend even if you have to search the harbour
836) you might also find a friend outside the barber
837) compliment his/her hair
838) show determination
839) make sense while you talk to him/her
840) don't always call him/her to tell him/her the bad news
841) don't be a dweeb
842) don't call someone a Dweeb
843) don't call someone a nerd
844) listen 70%
845) speak 30%
846) don't say "I'll kneel down before you if you be my friend"
847) don't lose your self in the moment like eminem
848) don't be nervous
849) don't hit em up like 2pac
850) don't create a friend
851) don't jump on his/her sand castle
852) don't put virus in his/her USB
853) don't say the 'e' word
854) don't make him/her see destruction
855) don't destroy his/her life
856) make sure you sleep well for you talk to your friend. You don't want to be cranky
857) don't hit him/her backstage
858) don't be a triad
859) don't carry a bowling ball in your bag
860) don't be too deep all the time
861) don't squeeze lime in his/her eyes
862) don't ever say "good bye"
863) don't remix him/her
864) don't chew his/her bubble gum when he/she has thrown it out in the ground and the bubble gum is full of dirt
865) don't end his/her career or something and take him/her back to the days, when he/she had a job and before he/she got paid, like B.O.B
866) don't wear a teddy bear costume and scare him/her at night like in "five nights at Freddy's"
867) don't swim in his/her water tank
868) don't steal a bank just because you need to buy him/her a present
869) don't sneeze on his/her face
870) the tip of a shoe lace is called an aglet don't forget it
871) be like Phineas and Ferb
872) don't always skip his/her favourite songs
873) don't hit your friend
874) hit bongs with your friend
875) play ping pongs with him/her
876) don't shut the door on him/her when he/she needs you the most
877) don't talk with your mouth full
878) don't sniff his/her food
879) when he/she invites you to dinner in his/her house with his/her family, don't ruin everyone's mood with the stupidest arguments
880) don't wear square pants unless you're spongbob
881) don't call an angry mob if he/she doesn't accept your friend request on facebook
882) don't be a bully like king Bob
883) don't make fun of him/her if he/she is Chinese
884) don't make chopsticks jokes
885) know his/her folks
886) don't call milk, 'molk'
887) when he/she visits, show him/her hospitality
888) don't call him/her 'puny'
889) don't steal his/her clock
890) don't wear a funny hat
891) no wait, you can
892) don't tell him/her you're out of town and when he/she asks for pictures, don't send him/her google earth pics
893) stop being so dumb
894) start cooking for him/her
895) first think before you say anything
896) don't post stupid things on his/her facebook wall
897) don't seal his/her house
898) don't do the dew
899) gift him/her a cute cat
900) wow we're on to our 900th
901) don't give awful tips
902) text him/her good morning in the morning
903) don't be boring
904) don't lie like how the dentists do on the tv
905) don't say I want you
906) you don't
907) don't rig his/her election
908) don't call him/her a snap case
909) respect his/her music taste
910) be grateful for everything
911) go to the pti jalsa, u'll make tons of friends
912) if you two play hide and seek, don't hide where he'll/she'll never find you and never come back
913) gift him/her an iPod, everyone loves iPod
914) don't cook meth without him
915) don't milk his/her cow ever morning and take all the milk for yourself
916) dont make really weird and awkward eye contacts
917) don't be weird and awkward
918) don't say the 'c' word
919) don't hit him/her with the nokia 3310
920) don't try to save a person by flying
921) don't be shy
922) dont push him/her in mud and say he/she slipped on her own
923) be slick
924) don't do weird experiments in the chem lab when he/she is your partner
925) do gardening, people love gardening
926) share your umbrella
927) don't give an umbrella filled with spiders
928) don't trash his/her car
929) don't constantly cut his/her phone lines just because you're afraid he/she might make new friends
930) don't be dirty
931) shower every morning
932) don't lick his/her dog
933) don't fry pirhanas
934) don't eat the dissected the frog just because someone dared you
935) don't break his nose
936) don't say "you have a broken home"
937) don't steal his/her mom's purse
938) don't be like Agnes in Zack and Cody
939) help him in need
940) don't ride on his/her sheep
941) don't ruin his/her wedding
942) don't burn his eminem collection
943) don't slap him so hard that the impact would shake the place
944) help him when he need weed
945) don't say the 'x' word
946) listen to the 943rd one
947) don't call him/her a snake
948) don't be toooo late if u get invited to his/her party, so late that an year has passed
949) be quick
950) have good reflexes
951) share your wifi with him/her
952) dont rob his/her house and take the xbox and give him that xbox as a gift in his birthday
953) man you suck
954) don't suck
955) stop being average
956) wear good and clean clothes
957) don't steal his/her clothes and wear them
958) take nap so you would feel fresh and make friend
959) do what you need to do
960) like all of his/her facebook posts
961) retweet all his/her tweets
962) don't be like Vlad Dracula
963) put him/her before your work
964) dont make fun of him/her on the internet by posting a stupid video of him/her that would get viraled and leaving him/her to be humiliated for the rest of his/her life
967) why do I have to tell you everything!
968) don't scratch his/her nose like a dj
969) don't get awkwardly stupid and weird thoughts
970) you're so bad
971) be good
972) tell him/her to be good as well
973) don't throw him/her in the well
974) don't give the excuse when u throw him/her in the well that he/she fell
975) don't ring his/her favourite bell
976) don't say the 'y' word
977) don't let me say that word, it's terrible
978) don't talk in a really cold voice
979) don't put a glock over his head and say I have no choice
980) don't pull the trigger
981) be a bigger man by apologising
982) never say never say never say never say never and fight for ever like how justin says
983) cut him/her a tree
984) don't be like 2 chainz
985) don't compare him/her with someone dispecible and give horrible references
986) dont say the 'o' word
987) don't call him/her "my unlucky friend"
988) don't be like Chucky
989) don't chew him/her up and spit him down
990) wow I can't believe we're almost done
991) don't say anything that would hurt his/her feelings
992) don't say the 'h' word
993) don't spill the whole punch bowl over his/her head "accidently"
994) when he/she texts, don't ask "how did you get my number" that's so rude you know!!!
995) time for being rude is over, time to make friends
996) give him/her some space
997) have good music taste
998) start calling him/her your mate
999) be the best 'you' you could ever be
1000) call him/her so that you could know more about his life and try to give advices to overcome his/her problems
1001) and if still you haven't made any friends, read it all over again
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